


You Are My Everything

by dreamybby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sobbing, Illnesses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamybby/pseuds/dreamybby
Summary: /// AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa live in a world where their soulmates’ first or last words show up on their bodies when they’re born. These words give no hints as to who their soulmate is, what type of soulmate they are, or even if they will ever meet. People only know that they’ve met their soulmate when the mark disappears after the prophesied words are said.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	You Are My Everything

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys enjoy this, I had half the mind to give up in the middle (glad I didn't). I'm not usually one to cry to my own writing... but I sobbed like a little baby on this one.

**Soulmates.**

Something about that word never failed to drive Iwaizumi’s heart wild. The thought of having someone out there meant for him gave him hope that just _maybe_ things between the two of them could work out… maybe.

_‘Yea... right.’_

Iwaizumi scoffed at himself.

If he was being honest, he knew Oikawa was never one to believe in the entire “soulmate crap” as he called it. Besides, even if they were soulmates, Iwaizumi couldn’t be sure that they were _romantic_ soulmates. They could be platonic. Or just soulmates that were made to simply meet and would have no actual significance to one another. But _god_ did he hope. 

Iwaizumi stared at his mark in the mirror, _“Just one more.”_ Sure, it made him uneasy, but the mark was proof that there was someone out there for him. 

Despite it being a downer, he did thank the fact it was more than the generic “Hi” or “Excuse me” he’s seen on some other people’s bodies. Hell, there was this one time on the train where he’d seen someone littered with black text.

“Yea,” Iwaizumi looked over at his mark on his collarbone again, “definitely grateful.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“And that’s why I think they’re stupid,” Oikawa rambled to Iwaizumi the next day on the train to a ramen shop. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well look at it this way, that person has all these soulmate marks on them,” Oikawa slightly glanced at the sleeping man in the corner of the train, “and I’m willing to bet that most of their marks are just ones that say ‘hi’ or something. The entire notion of soulmate marks has lost meaning for that person,” Oikawa rolled his eyes as he took another bite into his milk bread.

“Are you saying that our soulmate marks are invalid?” Matsukawa peered over the top of his book motioning between himself and Hanamaki. 

“Mattsun,” Oikawa pouted, “you know I didn’t mean it like _that_. You two are lucky since they disappeared the first day you two met. I’m just saying you can’t know what type of soulmates you are or if you two are even meant for one another beyond just friends.”

Hanamaki glanced up from his seat next to Matuskawa and up at Oikawa’s face, “Well I don’t think it particularly matters what type of soulmates we are. I think it matters more on what we do with the information. Whether someone becomes romantically involved or platonically involved with another person is entirely up to the two of them.”

Iwaizumi nodded his head in agreement, “Besides it doesn’t hurt knowing that there’s someone out there destined for you, even if it’s nothing more than a simple ‘Hi’ from a stranger.” 

_‘Shit. I said too much.’_

“Oh?” Oikawa gave the man standing next to him a sly smirk, “And when did my Iwa-chan become the hopeless romantic type?”

“Shut up Shitty-kawa,” he blatantly stated as he smacked Oikawa across the head, hiding his blush as he sank further into his scarf.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“There really isn’t anything better than hot ramen on a cold day like this,” Oikawa happily sighed on his walk home. 

Iwaizumi silently agreed as he walked a few paces behind his giddy friend.

“So, care to clarify on what you meant back on the train?”

_‘Fuck’_

“No, not particularly,” Iwaizumi responded while fiddling with the ends of his scarf.

Oikawa turned around and stared analytically at his friend’s response, “Well, with a mark like yours, I’m surprised you don’t resent soulmates.” 

“Like you have any room to talk Shitty-kawa. Yours is so depressing, I can see why you feel the way you do.”

Suddenly the air went still and the two of them stopped walking. 

“Iwaizumi.” Oikawa stated with his back facing towards him. 

_‘Oh shit, that was new.’_

“Yes?” Iwaizumi replied with a hit of worry and confusion laced in his tone. 

“You’ll always be there for me right?” Oikawa asked with his back still facing away from him. 

Iwaizumi knew full well where this insecurity came from considering the two shared the fact that they both had their soulmate’s _last_ words marked on their bodies.

Walking up towards his friend he patted his back, “Let’s get going, I heard it’s supposed to snow today.”

The setter stood there for a little bit before catching up to the spiker, “You always know what to say” he giggled and teased his friend.

“Shut up before I push you in front of a truck.”

“Oh, how you wound me.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

**[Shitty-kawa]**

**12:47 AM**

**_Why aren’t you dating anyone?_ **

**_Well, why aren’t you dating anyone?_ **

**_Because of volleyball of course._ **

**_…_ **

**_Touche._ **

**_But you’re hot, attractive, and vice captain of the volleyball team._ **

**_I guess my best friend is too good for everyone._ **

**_Oh well, good night Iwa-chan <3_ **

Iwaizumi could swear his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Despite calling him his best friend, perhaps the setter was hinting at something? Something more? 

Soulmates are pretty brushed off in this day and age, but what if they _are_ meant to be?

Iwaizumi could feel his heart swell up to the point it hurt… in a good way… maybe. If they are meant to be that would also mean… his heart dropped.

_‘Just one more.’_

One more what? Chance? If they were soulmates then would that mean that Oikawa might one day do something terrible to him, to the point of begging for one more chance. Unless… it was about volleyball…

_‘No, that’s stupid, but...’_

His heart sank to the pit of his stomach remembering Oikawa’s mark. He’d seen it on his left forearm one day when they were little, and remembered it ever since.

_‘With this I set you free.’_

He never did like thinking about Oikawa’s mark, if it was true they were meant to be together, then it would end in despair. But if they were tied to someone else, that would mean that Oikawa wasn’t his. And he wasn’t sure which one was worse.

Iwaizumi sighed as he closed his eyes trying to fall asleep. No matter how he thought about it, in the end, he would always be Oikawa’s.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“You know, one day someone is going to take him right out from underneath you,” Matsukawa blatantly stated while keeping his eyes glued to his game. 

“Yea, and you won’t even be able to be mad about it, I don’t see the harm in trying,” Kindaichi said from behind the middle blocker.

Iwaizumi looked at the first year and rolled his eyes, “As if I’d take romantic advice from someone younger than me.”

“Hey just because I’m younger doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced…” Kindaichi trailed off when he saw his two seinors turn and shoot him skeptical looks. “Ok, the fact that I don’t have the balls to confess my own feelings to my crush has nothing to do with this conversation. Besides,” Kindaichi walked over behind Iwaizumi, “it’s not _my_ love problems that we’re talking about here.” 

Just then, the three jumped at the sound of the locker room doors opening and turned to the sound. 

“Oh? What do we have here? Iwa-chan is having love problems?” The brown haired setter slyly looked over at the ace with a smirk.

“Yea, and we were just saying that he should just confess to them,” Matsukawa stated without looking up from his game.

Iwaizumi could feel the blood beginning to rush up to his ears and neck, “Whatever, the day I take your guys’ advice is the day I die, so I don’t want to hear it anymore.” 

“Then maybe we should send you to an early grave,” Oikawa snickered as he slung an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulder, “it would save me from a lot of future beatings.”

Just then a loud smack resounded through the locker room.

Iwaizumi sighed and made his way out of the locker room, “You really are a shitty guy.”

“Iwa-chan that hurt” Oikawa whined from the floor as he rubbed his head. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Iwaizumi could feel his heart sinking as he stood there on the court.

_‘I’m not good enough.’_

Tears were threatening to roll down his eyes.

_‘I will never be good enough.’_

His feet seemed to sink beneath the floor and for a split second, felt the entire world around him go dark. 

_‘I am the ace, and what good is an ace that can’t help their team.’_

His tears began to hit the ground.

_‘God, how embarrassing. The world is really cruel.’_

He felt a hand harshly pat his back, and Iwaizumi could feel himself relax a bit.

_‘I guess it doesn’t matter how cruel the world is…’_

Iwaizumi looked up and stared at his captain, his rival, his best friend, the love of his life, his everything, standing in front of him.

_‘Because I’ll always have you there beside me.’_

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

The walk home seemed quieter than usual. There weren’t any cars. There was no wind. Just him and Oikawa, walking side by side with their eyes red and puffy. Iwaizumi knew the setter was down in the dumps.

‘ _I suppose it’s my turn to comfort you this time.’_

“You probably won’t become truly happy until you’re a geezer,” Iwaizumi gruffly let out.

Oikawa turned towards him with his puffy eyes and retorted, “The hell? What kind of curse is that?”

_‘Here it goes.’_

The spiker ignored him and continued, “No matter what kind of tournaments you’ll win, you’ll never be completely satisfied. You’ll be that annoying guy who chases volleyball forever.”

“You always have to throw in an insult don’t you?”

_‘Please get through to him.’_

“But keep going without a second thought,” Iwaizumi stopped walking and turned to Oikawa.

_‘Please realize my feelings.’_

“I couldn’t be prouder to have you as a partner, and you’re the absolute best setter. Even if we end up on different teams, these facts will never change.”

_‘Please, just give me this one thing.’_

Oikawa turned and faced Iwaizumi directly and smirked, “Bring it on.”

_‘_ _This dumbass.’_

Iwaizumi raised his fist as Oikawa did the same. A fist bump. A promise.

_‘Even so, you’re my everything.’_

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“So, you’re leaving,” Iwaizumi said baffled as he stared at his friend, a headache began to gnaw at his brain.

“Yea, but if you’re going to miss me that much then I suppose I can come visit you,” Oikawa teased. 

Iwaizumi felt like his head was about to explode, and the chatter in the restaurant was no help.

Oikawa looked over at the other worriedly and frowned, “Hey, are you ok? You don’t look too good.”

Iwaizumi brushed off his pounding headache and grinned, “I’m fine, but you better be ready for the day I beat you in a match.”

“Oh? If it’s a challenge you want then you better be prepared for the consequences.” 

“I should be the one saying that to you Shitty-kawa.”

“Enough with that nickname Iwa-chan, it hurts my feelings,” Oikawa mocked pouted.

“Good, a shitty guy like you deserves it.”

Oikawa suddenly stopped eating and looked down into his bowl as if contemplating something. 

Iwaizumi began to worry, “What’s wrong? Shouldn’t you be excited about going to Brazil to train?”

“Iwaizumi…”

_‘Again with the full name?’_

“Yes?”

“Your soulmate mark…” Oikawa began while playing with his food.

This caught Iwaizumi’s attention, “What about it?”

“If someone ever hurts you, don’t give them a second chance.”

“What?” Iwaizumi gaped at his friend.

“Well, I’m just saying that if that someone isn’t me, then they don’t deserve any second chances from you,” the setter said somewhat aggressively as he began stirring his ramen.

“You know you just insinuated that-” 

Oikawa cut him off, “You’re going to hate me for what I’m about to say but… I know about how you feel about me.”

_‘Shit.’_

“I’ve known for awhile now,” Oikawa continued glancing up at Iwaizumi every now and then to gauge his reaction. 

_‘Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.’_

The latter stayed quiet waiting to hear him out, but that didn’t mean his heart did the same.

“I’m asking you to wait... until my volleyball career becomes stable. I will give you a straight answer to your feelings after that,” The setter looked up waiting for a response.

Iwaizumi sighed, “Even if you didn’t ask me to wait, I would’ve done so in the first place,” his head was starting to hurt again. 

Oikawa’s body visibly relaxed a bit, “You should really get that checked out you’ve been getting headaches nonstop for weeks now.” 

“I already have an appointment set for right before you leave,” the male sighed, leaned back in his chair, and grinned, “there’s no way I’d miss sending you off Shitty-kawa.” 

Oikawa pouted, mouth filled with noodles, “Iwa-chan, you’re so mean.” 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa cried when he spotted his friend.

Iwaizumi responded with a small smile and a slight wave of his hand. 

“So what did the doctor say?”

“You’re about to fly out to a foreign country and you’re worried about my headaches?” Iwaizumi questioned.

Oikawa giggled, “Of course, who else would listen to me rant about my aliens?”

Iwaizumi signed and punched the other boy on his arm, “Well, good news is that they didn’t find anything. I probably just need to drink more water or something.”

Oikawa spotted the uneasiness in his friend’s body, “If you have something you need to say, then you better say it now,” he teased.

“Shut it, I guess I’ll just be a bit lonely without you here,” Iwaizumi muttered as he turned away, feeling his ears grow hot.

“I thought you’d say that, so I got you this,” Oikawa exclaimed as he pulled out a ring. 

It was a simple silver band with an “O” engraved onto the front. It was then he spotted a matching silver band on Oikawa’s left ring finger with the letter “I” engraved onto it. His ears grew even hotter. 

“Make sure you put it on your right ring finger. That way when we make a promise they’ll connect.”

“Dumbass,” Iwaizumi retorted, thinking back to the night after the Spring High Prelims, “they might break if we do that.”

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi amused, “You say that, yet you still did it.”

The shorter male punched the taller male in the arm in response, “Shut up, just take care of yourself for me.”

“Only if you promise to take me out for ramen when I come out to visit during the holidays.”

“Yea, whatever Shitty-kawa.” 

The two once again fist pumped. And as if sealing the deal, their rings clinked together. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

It had been about two years, and time continued on after Oikawa left. There wasn’t a single moment when Iwaizumi didn’t miss him. There was still the occasional phone call, text message, and facetime. But it didn’t feel the same, and it made him feel, just a bit, empty.

_‘You’re just being dramatic, it’s not like he’s dead.’_

He glanced at the calendar, it was almost December, which meant Christmas, which meant holiday break, which meant Oikawa. Iwaizumi fell back on his bed with a sigh and held up his right hand staring at the silver band. College life was tough, but the thought of being able to see Oikawa on the court again always managed to get his heart pumping. After a little while he put his arm down after feeling it start to get numb. 

_‘Odd, maybe it’s a circulation problem. I’ll look into it in one of my textbooks later.’_

“Hey, there’s someone at the door for you,” Iwaizumi jumped at the sound of his mom barging into his room.

“Who is it?”

“Hanamaki and Matsukawa.”

Iwaizumi sighed and got off his bed to make his way downstairs.

_‘I swear those two don’t go anywhere without one another.’_

“Hey,” Hanamaki smiled, “we thought you might be a bit lonely so we brought some food.”

Matsukawa nodded back and smiled as he held up a bag full of snacks.

“Come in,” Iwaizumi welcomed them as he stepped aside to let them in, “we can hang out in my room.”

The pair grinned at one another once settled comfortably on the floor.

“So, how are things,” Hanamaki began.

“Between you and the Great King?” Matsukawa finished off as he took a bite into his meat bun. 

A sigh was heard throughout the room, “I already told you guys to stop asking about that, besides we agreed to wait until his volleyball career becomes stable.”

“Which means ‘I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t have the balls to confess’,” the salmon haired man joked to his partner. 

Iwaizumi shot them a glare and bit into his bread.

“I heard you’re flying out to California soon too to ask about that internship,” Matsukawa stated.

“Shit, you’re right, I forgot about that,” Iwaizumi replied as he got up to look at his calendar. 

“Dude, you’ve been forgetting things quite frequently lately,” Hanamaki sipped his drink before continuing, “and didn’t you say that your headaches have been starting up again?”

“Maybe you should go to the doctor, see what they say about it,” Matsukawa worriedly added right after. 

“I don’t think it’s anything serious, probably just stress, but I can set an appointment after I get back from California...” Iwaizumi trailed off thinking about his upcoming schedule.

_‘That’s odd, I could’ve sworn it was December already…’_

The calendar on his wall read September. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

The doctor clicked her pen as she stared at the folder in her hand.

Iwaizumi gulped as he wiped his hands on the side of his pants.

“There’s no easy way to tell you this.”

His hands began to grow restless and he began to turn his ring. 

Left.

“So, I think it’d be better to tell you directly.”

Right. 

“Your scan results came back...”

Left.

“And based on this information…”

Right.

“You have…”

Left.

“Cancer.”

Stop.

“On your scans it shows that it’s on your frontal lobe, and according to you…”

Iwaizumi’s mind began to wander.

_‘The world is a truly cruel place indeed.’_

“Honestly, it’s quite impressive you’ve managed to live this long without any major symptoms-”

“How long do I have left?” Iwaizumi blurted. 

The doctor seemed taken aback by the sudden question, “Well, it’s hard to say,” she began looking at his face, careful not to cause an outburst, “perhaps a little over a year if you’re lucky… a few months if not.”

The brown haired man quickly gathered up his things before standing to rush out of the hospital, “If it’s not too much trouble,” he cleared his throat as to not let anything slip through, “just email me the rest of the information… I need to make a phone call.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

_‘A few months? That’s it?’_

Iwaizumi audibly scoffed as he made his way into the empty house, his parents had gone on some overseas trip and were set to come back in a month.

_‘Damn it.’_

He couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry, scream or puke… probably all of the above. Then the image of him lying sick. No, dead. In a hospital bed lead him hurtling towards the bathroom. All his emotions came out in the form of stomach bile, and Iwaizumi could do nothing but hunch over the toilet and let it out. 

_‘I need to call someone. Anyone.’_

Then it hit him.

_‘Oikawa.’_

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Weren’t they supposed to spend the rest of their lives together? Wasn’t he supposed to get an answer to his feelings? Didn’t they promise… Iwaizumi let out a heart wrenching sob, as he laid back against the cold bathroom wall. He was supposed to beat him in a match one day… wasn’t he?

Tears continued to roll down his face. Head in his knees. Body trying desperately to grasp for air. The world fading away around him. Leaving him in the dark once again.

_‘Of course everything goes to shit the moment everything becomes good. I secured an internship spot. I was supposed to become an athletic trainer. I was supposed to train Japan’s Olympic team. I was supposed to see him again… on the other side of the net… Fuck, I hate it here. Everything. Down the drain. What a shithole.’_

Iwaizumi had been curled up in the corner of the bathroom for what felt like hours before deciding to look up in front of him.

“Iwa-chan!”

His heart swelled and began to hurt.

_‘I want to see him.’_

He looked at the vague blurry form by the bathroom door.

_‘I want to hear his voice again.’_

The familiar form got closer and Iwaizumi’s vision began to clear up.

_‘I need to call him.’_

And by the time he stood up and cleaned himself up, his vision cleared and the form was gone. 

Iwaizumi sighed as he reached for his phone in his bag with a heavy heart. The bag had been strewn across the floor, uncaringly tossed aside.

_‘Just like me.’_

He turned it on and searched for the all too familiar number in his contacts. Closing his eyes, he pressed on the call button.

“Yahoo, Iwa-chan, You never call first,” Iwaizumi’s heart soared when heard his friend.

“Hello?” His friend dragged out as he waited for a response.

Iwaizumi cleared his throat, “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Oikawa agreed, “I’m sorry for not visiting the past few years. I got busy.”

“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi responded back with a hoarse voice.

_‘No it’s not.’_

“Do you know when you'll be back in Japan?”

Oikawa hummed in response, “Hard to say, maybe in a year or two.”

_‘But I don’t have that long.’_

Iwaizumi’s grip on the phone tightened and his jaw clenched. 

“Why? Do you miss me that much?” The setter teased.

_‘Tell him.’_

“Hey, Shittykawa, I have something I need to tell you…”

“What is it?” 

Iwaizumi opened his mouth, but stopped when the image of him being sickly in a hospital bed popped into his mind once more. 

_‘How unsightly. Ugly.’_

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa inquired from the other line.

_‘I don’t want him seeing me like that. I will never let him see me like that.’_

Iwaizumi let out a huff and said as confidently as possible, “I just wanted to tell you to be prepared for the day I beat you on the court.”

His friend let out a scoff, “You know, you really piss me off sometimes.”

Iwaizumi let out a genuine laugh as Oikawa continued to ramble about how mistreated he was.

“Ah it’s pretty late in Japan right now, right?”

_‘That’s right, he makes the world seem a little less cruel.’_

“I have practice soon too.”

_‘He’s the reason my world continues to spin.’_

“I have to go now.”

_‘He’s my everything.’_

“Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”

_‘I’ll miss him.’_

Then the line ended.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“Hello, Iwaizumi-san.”

The designated man turned his head to the sound of the voice to see the tall, olive green haired man, “Hey, Ushijima. It’s good to see you again.”

“Indeed, I heard you were giving up the internship.”

_‘It’s always straight to the point with this guy.’_

Iwaizumi sighed and leaned his head against his arm, the restaurant suddenly seemed stuffy, “Yea, it’s not ideal, but I just found out I won’t be able to…” he hesitated, “make it.”

“Well,” the stoic man began, “if timing’s the problem then I can always see what I can do to rearrange it.”

_‘What a dumbass.’_

“It’s not that, I just can’t do it anymore. But please send my thanks to your father.”

Ushijima stayed quiet, as if he were struggling to understand something. 

Iwaizumi awkwardly sat there as he felt the strong gaze burn holes into him, “That’s really all I called you here for,” he coughed out, “Thanks again. I'll get going.”

“Are you sick?”

_‘What the fuck?’_

The voice caused the ill man to stop in his tracks. With a sigh he sat back down and faced his company, “What gave it away?”  
Ushijima monotonously replied, “There’s no other reason for you to deny. You’re too passionate about volleyball to turn down an offer like that… If you’d like, I can listen to your story.”

There was an awkward silence between the two before Iwaizumi decided to speak up.

_‘I suppose it doesn’t hurt to tell him.’_

“God, you make it sound like I’m on my deathbed, but if you insist then I guess it doesn’t hurt.”

The other man stayed quiet, and Iwaizumi took that as a sign to continue.

“According to my doctor I have Glioblastoma. It’s a very aggressive type of cancer and there’s no cure as of right now. She told me that there are procedures to help prolong it, but I don’t want to do that to my family with the medical costs and all.”

“And you’ve talked to them about this?” 

“Well, let’s just say that finding out your son is dying doesn’t make for the best conversation topic.”

The two stayed quiet before Ushijima let out the dreaded question.

“Have you told Oikawa-san?”

Iwaizumi’s heart dropped and he faced away from the other man.

“No, and I don’t really want to either.”

“I see,” a deep reply came, “Well, I’m in no position to tell you what to do, but I think you should… for the sake of your friendship. So he can say goodbye.”

_‘This asshole, he really hasn’t changed much from high school. Blunt as ever.’_

“I’ll pay for the food today, consider it thanks for the talk,” Iwaizumi stated as he paid the bill, gathered his items, and left the other man to sit there alone.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Iwaizumi walked over to the familiar gated area he used to play at when he was young. 

_‘This is where it started.’_

He sat down on the dirt ground and leaned against the gate.

_‘This is where we began.’_

He took a deep breath.

_‘This is where I fell in love.’_

Then he closed his eyes.

_“Iwa-chan! What are you doing? Catching bugs?”_

_The young boy stared at the other as if he was stupid, “No, I’m catching cicadas, why else would I have a net?”_

_“Cicadas are bugs,” replied Oikawa sassily._

_Iwaizumi brushed him off, “What are you doing Trashy-kawa?”_

_“Playing volleyball. See?” His friend said as he began to bounce the ball using his forearms._

_“Oh? It looks like fun how many times can you bounce it?”_

_Oikawa hummed and started to count how many times the ball would bounce._

_Iwaizumi stared at the other in amazement and curiosity, not because it looked like fun… but because the look in the other boy’s eyes sent butterflies in his stomach. It wasn’t the first time he felt this when playing together with him, but this was the first time he felt it with such intensity. The look in Oikawa’s eyes sent a shiver down his spine and it was as if he could see the promising future that was laid out before him._

_‘And I want to be there with you for every moment of it.’_

_“Hey, I wanna learn how to play too,” little Iwaizumi jumped in causing the boy bouncing the ball to get scared and drop it._

_“Really?” Oikawa responded as if it was unexpected, “There’s a volleyball match today. Want to come over and watch it with me?”_

_Iwaizumi enthusiastically nodded his head. As the two of them rushed back to the house to catch the game on TV._

_After the game, the two went back outside to practice some more. Everytime Iwaizumi’s hands would brush against the ball his heart would skyrocket. As the blood that flowed through his body seemed to give him a new source of energy. It was then in the dim lighting of the street lamp did he see it. Oikawa’s soulmate mark._

_“Hey Oikawa, what does your mark say?”_

_The boy stopped his movements all together and went strangely quiet._

_“Hello? I’m talking to you Trashy-kawa.”_

_The boy looked up and responded harshly, “It doesn’t matter because I don’t believe in them anyways.”_

_Iwaizumi took a step back, he’d never seen the other boy so worked up, “... that bad?”_

_“... Yea.”_

_Iwaizumi walked over and patted Oikawa on his shoulder glancing at the boy’s forearm._

_‘With this I set you free.’_

_“It’s ok, because I’m the same as well.”_

_Oikawa looked over at the other with a hint of understanding over his features, “Well, it’s fine because I don’t need them anyways,” the brown haired boy said proudly with a smile, “I’ll always have Iwa-chan by my side, right?”_

_A flurry of butterflies grew restless in his stomach, and with a matching bright smile Iwaizumi nodded. In one swift movement the two fist bumped. Their first promise._

_That day, Iwaizumi fell in love with not only volleyball, but with his best friend._

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and stared up at the blue, cloudless sky.

Under his breath he muttered the words he’d been denying for the past few months, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can stand next to you much longer.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“Iwaizumi,” a tall salmon haired man shouted from the door followed by another tall man with black hair. 

Iwaizumi turned his head in shock and stared at the two for a few seconds before asking, “Who are you guys?”

The expressions of the two men went from one of worry, shock, and then sadness.

“That’s too cruel man, it hasn’t even been a full 6 months since you’ve been diagnosed,” the man with black hair said in a dejected tone.

Iwaizumi looked down and fiddled with his blanket which was laid neatly over his lap.

_‘They seem to know me… were we friends?’_

The two strangers took seats beside his bed and they watched him as he struggled to rack his brain for answers.

“I’m Matsukawa Issei,” introduced the black haired man, “and this is Hanamaki Takahiro,” he said as he pointed to the man seated next to him. 

“We were friends in high school, on the same volleyball team,” chimed Hanamaki-san.

“It’s nice to meet you Matsukawa-san, Hanamaki-san,” Iwaizumi greeted sheepishly as he slightly bowed his head at the two. 

The two men cringed at the honorifics, and Hanamaki quickly corrected the ill man, “You don’t have to worry about formalities, we’re friends, remember?”

Matsukawa quickly nudged his partner after Iwaizumi’s expression dropped, “Don’t mind him, he can be a little dumb sometimes. Anyways, we got a call from your mom, she was worried sick about you.”

Iwaizumi stayed quiet, resorting to fiddling with his blankets once again. An awkward silence enveloped the room. Hanamaki and Matsukawa exchanged worried glances at this seemingly new person in front of them.

“So,” Hanamaki started slowly, “what do you remember?”

Iwaizumi looked up at the two men before searching his brain for what little information he had, “Well, I remember the basics… my name, parents, age, and recent occurrences. There are also a few memories of what I think are volleyball games I won and a very distinct image of a teal and white jersey with the number one on it.”

Once again, the two men sitting beside his bed shared a knowing glance. 

“How long have your memories been gone?” Matsukawa asked.

Iwaizumi looked out the window on the other side of his bed, “I can’t remember, but according to the doctor, it was most likely after my most recent collapse.”

Matsukawa once again questioned, “Do you plan to go through with any of the procedures?”

“Absolutely not,” replied the man without any hesitation, “I can barely walk, I need help to chew my food, it’s getting harder to read and just to see in general. And there’s no point… I can’t even remember what I wanted to do with my life before this.” 

_‘And it makes me feel empty.’_

The chime of a phone rang through the room, and Matsukawa quickly got up, signalling Hanamaki to go with him. 

“I’m sorry, we need to take this call real quick, we’ll be back… and we’ll bring snacks,” Matsukawa quickly excused himself.

Iwaizumi watched as they left his room, and opted to look out the window once again. 

_‘They really don’t go anywhere without one another.’_

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“Mattsun!” cried an energetic voice from the other line, “Guess who’s coming back to Japan for a visit this spring?”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki stayed quiet, hearts pounding rapidly.

“Guys,” whined the setter, “say something… Oh, but you absolutely cannot tell Iwa-chan. I’m here to surprise him.”

The hospital hallway suddenly grew hot for the two men.

“When are you set to land?” questioned Matsukawa with a calm facade. 

“It looks like I’ll land in about a week,” there was a loud noise heard from the other line, “oh my god, I need to go, and remember, you absolutely cannot tell Iwa-chan.”

The call ended and Hanamaki spoke up, “What the fuck are we supposed to do now?”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

The next few days Matsukawa and Hanamaki visited every day, filling in Iwaizumi of his past and brought pictures from their days at Aoba Johsai. 

“... Then we all went to visit the shrine together as a team, and the poor bastard forgot his wallet and kept asking you for some money,” Iwaizumi laughed at the story Hanamaki had recalled.

“It’s odd,” the bedridden man spoke up, “I can’t remember this person but,” he placed a hand on his chest feeling his heart beat and flutter, “Guys, am I in love with OIkawa?”

The smiles on the two men’s faces dropped as they looked sadly at Iwaizumi.

“You weren’t just in love with him Iwaizumi,” Matsukawa solemnly stated, “you two were always together, no matter what. It was as if your whole world revolved around him.”

“May I see a picture?” Inquired Iwaizumi as he handed Matsukawa his phone, “There are photos on there, but there are people I don’t know.”

Matsukawa looked through the phone looking for a picture of the setter before finding a decent photo sent a few months back of him with Hinata in Rio. He handed the phone back to the owner, catching sight of the Godzilla phone case he had on it. 

Iwaizumi graciously took the phone back and stared at the photo, there was a short orange haired man that he didn’t recognize, but standing next to him was a taller brown haired setter. 

Realization crossed his mind, and at the sight of the man his heart began to swell and beat rapidly.

_‘My everything’_

“I’ve seen him before.”

Hanamaki quickly began questioning Iwaizumi, “You remember him?”

“No, but I’ve been dreaming of him,” tears began to roll down his face.

Iwaizumi left them there as he glanced down at his right hand and stared at the ring on his finger.

_‘You make the world a little less cruel.’_

The couple by Iwaizumi’s bedside awkwardly looked at one another unsure of how to comfort the now sobbing man.

_‘My Oikawa, the love of my life.’_

“Maybe we should call a nurse over,” Matsukawa stated before trying to get up quickly to call for help. 

“No,” Iwaizumi sniffled as he held his friend’s arm, “I’m fine… I actually remember a bit more now…”

Matsukawa glanced down at the man and his tearstained face before hesitantly deciding to sit back down. 

Hanamaki quickly trying to change the atmosphere interrogated Iwaizumi once more, “What do you mean you’ve been dreaming of Oikawa?”

The man wiped his face as he answered, “It’s exactly what I said, there was a brown haired setter that keeps showing up in my dreams lately. He’s a bit annoying, egotistical, and gets on my nerves, but I don’t really mind it at the same time.”

“Iwaizumi… Oikawa is coming to Japan tomorrow,” Hanamaki informed him quietly.

The addressed man could feel his heart stop.

_‘He’s coming… to Japan?’_

“We think it’s a good idea if we break the news to him as soon as possible,” Hanamaki stated as he patted his friend’s thin hand. 

Iwaizumi let out a shaky breath, “Yea, you might be right about that.”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki nodded at one another before getting up.

“It’s about time we go,” Matsukawa began, “You should get some rest… we’ll bring Oikawa to visit in a few days.”

“Wait,” Iwaizumi called out to the two before they went through the door, “Can you take him out for some ramen for me?” The man’s eyes began to water again, “I promised him I’d take him before he left for Brazil.”

His friends nodded and made their way out the room.

Once he was sure the two of them were gone, Iwaizumi let his tears fall. He couldn’t tell if they were tears of joy or despair, but he did know one thing. 

_‘I get to see him again.’_

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Oikawa felt uneasy as he sat in the ramen restaurant with Mattsun and Makki, “So where’s Iwa-chan?”

The two sitting across from him stayed silent, but the awkward shifting and glances at one another didn’t go unnoticed by the setter. The silence continued for a few more minutes before the setter crossed his arms and started to become noticeably annoyed.

“Will you guys just spit it-”

“He’s sick,” Makki quickly cut Oikawa off.

Oikawa uncrossed his arms, but his shoulders were still tense, “Like… with a fever right?”

“No,” Matsukawa started. 

The setter began to fiddle with his own ring, feeling his heart beat rapidly, and body beginning to shake. 

Matsukawa gauged the other man’s reaction and hesitantly continued, “He’s in the hospital… he has cancer…”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Oikawa angrily slammed his hands on the table.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa both jumped at the sound, watching as the man across them clenched his jaw and looked down at the floor.

The two could feel their hearts pounding out of fear as the setter made eye contact with them. His eyes swirling with anger, sadness, but most of all… fear.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Maybe Oikawa didn’t think this through. It had been a while since he had seen his best friend, much less talked to him over the phone. The last he remembers was a strong young man with tan skin and a resolve to move any mountain. Imagining Iwaizumi as anything but that, especially sick, caused uproars in his stomach and water to well up in his eyes. But having to see that form in person? Oikawa didn’t think- no he knew- he couldn’t handle it. 

“Oikawa, he’s ready to see you,” Matsukawa peeked outside from the room. 

Shit. He definitely wasn’t ready for this. Who would be?

Oikawa took a deep breath as he slid open the door, walked in, and stood by the door. He made no effort to get any further inside. He kept his head at a downward angle opting to focus on the legs of the bed instead. 

“Hey, Shitty-kawa,” a hoarse voice called from inside the room.

Oikawa cringed at the sound.

Shuffling was heard and he looked up briefly to see that Matsukawa and Hanamaki were making their way out. 

“We’ll give you two some time alone,” Hanamaki whispered before patting Oikawa’s back and leaving the room, his boyfriend following close behind. 

“God, you’re such a shitty guy, who keeps their best friend waiting for two years.”

Oikawa shot his head up quickly ready to shoot back a sassy retort, but stopped as soon as he saw the man in front of him. His voice getting caught in his throat.

“I finally got you to look at me,” Iwaizumi, or what was left of him said. 

The setter panicked, nothing could’ve prepared him for this. 

The man in front of him was not Iwaizumi. The Iwaizumi he knew was strong, passionate, and was never one to give up. The person lying in the bed was thin, most of their features sunken in, they had a sickly pale tone, and there was no longer any power in their presence. This person looked _dead_.

If it weren’t for the ring resting on his right hand, Oikawa would’ve turned tail and ran away. Hell, he still wanted to.

The thin man sighed, “Do I really look that bad?”

“Like shit,” he replied before his mind could stop him.

There was a pause before a chuckle was heard throughout the room.

Oikawa softened up a bit and decided leaning against the wall by the door was more favorable than standing by it.

“You can come closer, you know? I’m not going to beat you up and chase you around. I can’t move my legs anymore anyways.”

Oikawa could feel his heart plunge. He didn’t want to see his friend like this. He never even thought this reality was possible. Yet, he still couldn't bring himself to move out of the corner.

The man by the door hesitated before finally being able to gather the courage to ask the question, “How long do you have left?”

His friend looked at him for a bit before turning his head to look out the window which was opposite of the door, “Who knows? A few weeks? Six months at best.”

Oikawa felt his heart start aching.

“Are you allowed to go out? We can walk around the neighborhood,” suggested the setter awkwardly.

“No, because seeing you act like that is pissing me off,” Iwaizumi angrily stated.

“Acting like what?” Oikawa retorted.

“Like you’re scared of me,” came the response coolly.

“I am not sca-”

“Don’t give me that shit,” came a powerful gruff from the frail looking man, “I may not be able to move my legs,” Iwaizumi turned his head towards Oikawa, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t still knock some sense into you.”

Oikawa’s heart began to flutter, and he then realized how ridiculous he was. Iwaizumi would forever be Iwaizumi. No matter how he looked, that was still his best friend.

The brown haired boy walked over to the bed and scoffed, “I’d like to see you try.”

Oikawa then felt the intense pain of a ball hit his face and fell to the floor.

“The hell Iwa-chan?” the poor man groaned, “Where’d you even get that volleyball from?”

“It was a gift from Hanamaki and Matsukawa,” Iwaizumi stated plainly as he tossed the ball up and caught it easily. 

From the floor, the lighting seemed to cast a halo around the man on the bed, and the setter could feel his heart pound. 

“Hey Shitty-kawa, if you wanna take me out that bad, then hurry up and borrow a wheelchair for me before I hit you again.”

“Yea, yea, I’ll go get your chariot… your highness.” Oikawa teased as he got up and brushed himself off.

Oikawa stopped in his tracks as he felt the other man’s piercing glare, “Iwa-chan, I was just kidding,” he nervously laughed as he looked at him, “I’ll go right now.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Iwaizumi scoffed and quickly dismissed him, telling him to hurry up. He watched as his best friend made his way out of the door, a gentle smile gracing his features.

_‘What a dumbass.’_

His head turned to the window again. Basking in the sunlight he closed his eyes and felt the warmth embrace him. It was a simple action, but it helped clear his mind of everything around him. Besides it gave him the same sense of security that the man in his dreams did. 

“Iwa-chan!” cheered Oikawa from the door, “I got the wheelchair, now let’s go sightseeing.”

“How do you expect me to get in there?”

“Must you be so grumpy?” Oikawa groaned before swiftly picking up his friend and placing him in the chair, frowning at how light he was, “There, all done.”

Iwaizumi stared up at the brown haired boy, stunned. 

_‘Maybe I should start eating more’_

“Now, no more complaining and more seeing,” Oikawa quickly shouted and left before giving Iwaizumi time to answer.

The two made their way out of the hospital, starting their trip with a stroll in the park. 

“It’s a bit cold today,” Iwaizumi mentioned as he watched his breath condense into a puff of air. 

“Are you ok? We can go back and grab an extra blanket.”

Iwaizumi smiled as he continued to breathe out into the cold air.

Oikawa looked at the other curiously, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like,” the man in the wheelchair took note of the passing kids, “Trashy-kawa… I’m _breathing_.”

“No, it looks like you’re living out your godzilla dreams and trying to breathe fire.”

Iwaizumi scoffed, “Like you’re any better Mr. ‘I think Kageyama is an alien, no one can be that perfect at volleyball.’”

Oikawa whined, “You promised never to mention that again,” he began to wave his hand in front of his face, “Besides he’s not an alien, he’s just a prick.”

“Wow you’re making fun of your juniors now, are you? What a shitty guy you are.”

“Who’s making fun of their juniors?” A deep voice belonging to neither of the two chimed in. 

“Oh, hey Ushijima,” Iwaizumi greeted looking up at the olive haired man. 

Oikawa scowled, “And what are you doing here?”

“Checking up on a friend,” he stated simply as he turned his head down to Iwaizumi, “how are you?”

Iwaizumi hummed, “I’ve been fine, since I last saw you, I’ve collapsed a few times, been losing my sight, lost my memory, and can no longer walk… the usual.”

Ushijima frowned, “I don’t think that’s a joking matter.”

Oikawa quickly butt in, “Well it doesn’t concern you anyways,” pushing the wheelchair away from the newcomer quickly, “Have fun losing to me on the big stage,” then he bursted into a run.

“You punk,” Iwaizumi growled when they slowed down, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Oikawa cheekily giggled, “Whoops.”

The sick man could feel his blood rising and pulled on the setter’s ear harshly, “‘Whoops’... is that all you have to say for yourself.”

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry, now please let go of my ear,” Oikawa gave in.

Letting go of the other man, Iwaizumi then comfortably settled back into his chair. Oikawa stared at him sadly before continuing to push him down the park street once more.

They stopped by a vending machine and Oikawa opted to get the two of them something.

“So how long have you been in the hospital?” The setter questioned as he handed the other man his drink

Iwaizumi hummed while grabbing his coffee, “About a week… I think.”

The two sat in silence peacefully sipping their drinks.

“I missed you,” Iwaizumi muttered as he looked down at his coffee.

Oikawa frowned, taking a seat on the ground next to him, “Sorry, I didn’t visit.”

“Look,” commented Iwaizumi in a gruff voice, “No matter what happens I’ll still be there with you.”

It took every bit of self control within Oikawa to not burst into tears right then and there. It hadn’t hit him before, but he was really about to lose his best friend.

Iwaizumi examined the other man’s reaction before reaching out a hand and patting Oikawa on the back, “Let’s head back before I die of something other than the tumor in my brain.”

Oikawa sniffed as he got up and started pushing Iwaizumi towards the direction of the hospital. Neither said anything the entire way back.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Once they were back inside the room, Oikawa lifted Iwaizumi one more onto the bed and covered him with the blanket.

“Thanks for today,” Iwaizumi said tiredly.

Oikawa gave a soft smile, and made his way out of the room. Pushing the wheelchair steadily in front of him.

“You must be Oikawa-san,” a gentle voice said from behind the man.

Oikawa turned around and was face to face with a nurse. She was shorter, but still tall for a woman and was offering him a sad smile.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Iwaizumi, I’m usually the one in charge of checking up on him,” she continued.

The man stood there awkwardly, “It’s nice to meet you, but-”

“We should talk in the cafeteria for a little bit,” she cut him off, almost begging with her eyes.

Oikawa begrudgingly accepted, “Oh, ok. Sure, I think I can spare some time.”

Once both were seated, the nurse wasted no time getting to the point, “I want to talk about Iwaizumi.”

The man stiffened in his seat, “Ok, what would you like to know?”

“Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but for this past week, compared to the other ones, Iwaizumi has been-”

“What do you mean ‘compared to the other ones’? Wasn’t he admitted a week ago?”

The nurse gave Oikawa a confused look, “Did Iwaizumi tell you that?”

The man nodded.

“I should tell you that you should take answers he gives from memory with a grain of salt. He was actually admitted about four months ago.”

Oikawa argued back, “But he said-”

“Yes I know, but before this week he couldn’t even speak properly.”

This shut him up, “What do you mean?”

The nurse sighed, “He collapsed a few months back, and when he had come to, everything went wrong. He couldn’t speak right, he had forgotten how to read, much less write, and it was so bad that he had even forgotten how to feed himself.”

Oikawa didn’t know what he felt, but what he did know was that he was ready to jump off a cliff at the thought of Iwaizumi like that.

“That’s why I want to thank your other two friends who came to visit, he’s been doing much better.”

“But why did you thank me earlier?” recalled the setter, “I’ve only just come to visit today.”

“You were the one thing that seemed to keep the _real_ Iwaizumi alive.”

Oikawa felt his eyes well up with tears.

“It’s not uncommon for people with memory loss to lose sight of who they were before,” the nurse stated with a sad smile, “but no matter how jumbled his words got, he never failed to boast about ‘his best friend Oikawa,’ or how ‘he was going to beat Oikawa in a match one day.’”

Tears started to roll down his eyes, and his throat began to close up and grow sore. 

“He really said all that?” Oikawa sniffed.

She nodded and continued, “So seeing him so functional and cognitive warms my heart, especially since he isn’t going through any procedures.”

Oikawa felt the world stop for a split second, “He’s not?”

“No,” the nurse shook her head, “He refused on multiple occasions, and although his family argued with his decision, they respected his wishes.”

The man felt a flurry of emotions, but one seemed to over power all the others… anger. Oikawa quickly jumped up from his seat.

“I’m sorry, but I really need to be going now,” he excused himself, not bothering to wait for a reply.

When Oikawa arrived at home that night he fled straight into his room, taking deep breaths he tried to relax his stubborn heart. 

He turned his head and spotted the framed photo of him and Iwaizumi when they were kids. His anger surfaced once more and he tossed the frame across the room, shattering the glass.

“What an idiot,” he scowled at the young boy in the photo, “Why would you just give up like that?”

Oikawa’s body trembled, tears rolled down his face one by one. He fell to his knees muttering out a trail of curses and questions. 

“Dumbass.”

“Why aren’t you going through with the procedures?”

“Fucker.”

“Why did you give up that easily?”

“Bitch.”

“Does your life mean nothing to you?”

Oikawa sniffed and whimpered, “Do _I_ mean nothing to you?” Before falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Iwaizumi waited patiently in his bed in the morning, not like he could do anything else. He killed time by entertaining himself with looking outside the window. Trying his best to ignore looking at the door.

However, he’d be lying if he said a part of him wasn’t excited to see his best friend bursting through the door carrying some new entertainment for the day. Maybe he’d come in with some crazy scheme to break into Aoba Johsai for some adventuring. 

The man smiled to himself slightly, remembering the events from the day before. No matter how simple, things were always eventful with Oikawa.

The door opened and Iwaizumi turned his head expectantly.

“Sorry, it’s just me,” apologized his nurse with a sheepish smile.

She took a seat next to him, “No visitors today?”

Iwaizumi scoffed, “He’ll be here, it’s still early. That dumbass probably hasn’t woken up yet.”

“And what about the other two? Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san?”

A frown was visible on the man’s face, “I don’t think they’re coming anymore.”

The nurse shot him a shocked expression, “Why not?”

“Would you?”

The two were silent before Iwaizumi continued on, “I didn’t think so.”

She offered him a sad smile before getting up and tending to him and the room.

The room was awfully quiet when she left. Iwaizumi _almost_ missed her company, but he missed someone else much more. He did nothing but watch as the clouds rolled by, and little by little the sun began to inch lower. 

Before he knew it, visiting hours were over… and Oikawa never came.

The next day was rinse and repeat, Iwaizumi’s days looking awfully the same. 

_‘You are going to come, aren’t you?’_

Iwaizumi had been growing impatient for the past few days with no one to talk to other than the occasional nurse. Not that he could blame them, he would probably do the same thing if he were in their shoes. Even his family had slowly stopped trickling in. 

All had made sure that their last visit was no different from the other ones, and Iwaizumi was somewhat grateful for it. It made him forget the inevitable, and tricked his heart and mind into thinking he’d see them another day. 

_‘Not that I will,’_ Iwaizumi scoffed to himself.

His regular nurse came in to tidy up the room once more… or was it a different one? He could feel his mind grow muddled, everything beginning to jumble up once more. 

He called out to the doctor before they left, “Excuse me what season is it now?”

The patient turned around, “Season?”

Iwaizumi nodded as he looked at the nurse for her answer.

“It’s summer… the end of June, to be specific,” replied his regular nurse… or was it the doctor?

Iwaizumi sadly looked down at his lap and fiddled with his hands, “Did you know that during the summer… cicadas come out?”

“I’m sorry?” came a puzzled reply. 

“Nevermind, don’t worry about it,” he quickly responded, “If you don’t mind, can you do me a favor?” Iwaizumi requested fighting off the confusion as to who he was talking to.

“Of course” the person replied back while taking a seat next to the bed to hear out the man.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Oikawa groaned as he went to greet whoever rang his doorbell in the middle of the night. 

“Do you need something?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Do you greet everyone like that?” Scolded a familiar voice.

Oikawa looked out into the dark in front of him seeing Iwaizumi in a wheelchair and the nurse he had talked to last time.

“What are you doing here?”

Iwaizumi turned to the nurse, and waved her off with a slight smile before turning back to Oikawa.

“Let’s go for a stroll.”

The tired man rolled his eyes, “I really don’t want to.”

Iwaizumi stared at his friend sadly, “If you had come to visit, this wouldn’t have had to happen.”

Oikawa was about to argue back when he finally noticed the state his friend was in. Iwaizumi was wearing an old jacket and scarf from high school, both of which were far too big for his even thinner frame. On his lap was a blanket, and despite it being summer, he was still shivering. 

“You idiot,” Oikawa quickly walked outside and pushed the sick man into his house, “You’re in no condition to go out. Why did you come here?” 

Iwaizumi stayed quiet fiddling with the loose ring on his hand.

Oikawa was far beyond irritated, “Iwaizumi, this is so unlike you, why did you come here?” He fumed. 

“Why didn’t you visit?” responded the man in an unusually quiet voice.

“What?”

Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa slightly teary eyed, “Why’d you leave me alone?”

For some reason seeing his best friend like this caused the earlier suppressed anger to surface again, “ _I_ didn’t leave you alone Iwaizumi, _you’re_ leaving me alone,” Oikawa could feel himself beginning to cry. 

“Do you know how long I waited for you?” Iwaizumi yelled as best he could, “I waited in that god forsaken bed for two weeks waiting for you to come back.”

“You don’t get it,” Oikawa stabbed his finger in the other man’s chest. 

“Do you know how scared I am for the day you leave me? You promised me we’d stay together. We’ve been together for so long…” Oikawa collapsed on the floor sobbing, “I don’t know what I’m going to do when you’re no longer there for me.”

Iwaizumi put a shaking hand on his best friend’s shoulder, “I’m scared too,” he squeezed Oikawa’s shoulder a bit, “I want to be there for you too…”

_‘I don’t want to leave.’_

Oikawa pulled his body back away from the hand, “If you wanted to be there for me, you would’ve gone through with the procedures.”

_‘I don’t want to leave you.’_

“You would’ve told me immediately when you found out you were sick.”

_‘But as much as I want to be with you.’_

“You would’ve,” Oikawa hesitated, “You would’ve relied on me.”

_‘I can’t,’_

Iwaizumi, despite his best effort, began to cry, “Look at me,” he angrily grabbed Oikawa’s shirt, “I can’t move my legs. I can’t read a book anymore. And,” he choked back a sob, “I’m starting to forget what the faces of everyone close to me look like.”

Both of them were sobbing into each others’ shoulders.

Iwaizumi let go of the shirt and sniffed, “But despite all of that, your annoying face is one thing I remember. Your laugh is the one thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. Everything about you is the only reason why I’ve lasted this long.”

He looked his friend straight in the eyes, “So even though I didn’t want to hold you back,” he gasped for a breath between his sobs, “a selfish part of me wanted you all to myself during the little time I had left in this world.”

Iwaizumi buried his face in his hands, his body trembling. 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa cooed, “I’m sorry, that I’ve been such a shitty friend… I didn’t think about how scared you were.”

Iwaizumi could feel familiar arms wrap around him and a head bury itself into his neck.

“I was just angry because the thought of you not being by my side… hurt like hell, and I didn’t know what to do with myself knowing what’s going to happen,” Oikawa muttered into his neck. 

Oikawa looked up and placed his forehead against Iwaizumi’s, while pulling his hands away from his face, “If I’m being honest… I still don’t know what to do.”

Iwaizumi caressed the setter’s face with his frail hand, and swiped away the tears with his thumb, “Then that’s something we can figure out… together.”

The past ace removed his right hand and formed a fist. Oikawa graciously bumped his left fist into it. A fist bump. A promise.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Iwaizumi softly smiled at the man seated next to his bed who was rambling. 

“I know,” Oikawa exclaimed, “we could go and sneak out to a planetarium, or maybe that’s too far.”

Iwaizumi sighed, “After the stunt we pulled last time? We’d be lucky if we made it out of this room.”

Oikawa pouted, “It’s ok, I’ll use my charm and convince them to take us.”

Iwaizumi scowled, “Don’t even think about it.”

The setter sighed, defeated, “I wish it were Christmas.”

“Why?”

Oikawa placed his hands in between his hands, “So I can make you wear those reindeer antlers aga-”

He was cut off by a sharp slap in the back of his head.

“Mention that again and I’ll make sure you’re there to greet me in the afterlife.”

Oikawa laid his head on Iwaizumi’s knees and faced his company, “Do you think you’ll be able to spend one more Christmas with me?”

“It’s only summer and you’re thinking about Christmas?”

“Answer me.”

Silence filled the room.

Iwaizumi placed a comforting hand on his back, “You’re awfully pessimistic, you know that?”

Oikawa kept his face buried in the other man’s blanket and said nothing. 

It was then that Iwaizumi decided to do something drastically out of character… he ran a hand through his best friend’s brown hair. 

The other man could feel chills run down his spine and heat shoot up to his cheeks at the new sensation. It was comforting. 

“We’ll figure it out when we get there,” Iwaizumi gently uttered.

The two stayed in that position for what felt like forever. Both wishing they could stop time for a little longer. 

But that was nothing but wishful thinking.

With each passing day Iwaizumi grew worse. His tan skin had paled even more, his appetite was nothing more than a few bites, he hardly spoke to Oikawa, even the ear tugging and hitting had stopped. 

No matter what happened, or how bad he got, Oikawa always stayed by his side. Through the check ups, the tantrums, the mood swings, and even offered to help the nurse when it came to feeding the man.

Everyday he would go to sleep in the hospital chair and wake up in uncomfortable positions. However, despite all that, he couldn’t deny that the good days always made it worth it. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“You probably don’t remember,” Oikawa looking down fiddling with his fingers, “but it was around this time of year that we got into volleyball.”

Iwaizumi stayed silent, but the glint in his eyes told Oikawa that this was one of his more cognitive days.

“We were out in the park, you catching cicadas and I was playing with my volleyball.”

Oikawa took his best friend’s thin hand, “I wish we had more time. I would’ve liked to have taken you to that planetarium we talked about a few weeks ago.”

The setter couldn’t hold back his sobs any longer, “I still have so many things I want to do with you, so you can’t leave yet ok? Not until I figure out how to bring the planetarium to you.”

Gasps of breaths could be heard within the white room, “While I’m at it, I’ll bring you fish from the aquarium, and sand from the beach,” Oikawa gripped onto Iwaizumi’s hand harder, “I’ll bring you whatever you want…” 

The setter could feel the soft touch of something on his head, he looked up with watery eyes and came face to face with Iwaizumi who held a soft smile.

Oikawa placed the hand on his tear stained cheek, “I’ll bring you whatever you want, so just stay by my side a little longer.”

For the next few hours, the room was filled with nothing but choked back sobs and pleads from Oikawa before he had finally calmed down enough and fell into a dreamless sleep.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

When Oikawa awoke the next day, a wave of worry hit his entire body. His gut screamed to leave the hospital and never turn back. It yelled at him to book a plane ticket back to Brazil and to abandon Japan completely. But no matter how much his instinct kicked and screamed, he couldn’t bring himself to leave because… today was one of Iwaizumi’s _good days_. 

“Good morning… Shitty-kawa,” came a weak voice. 

Oikawa smiled despite the insult, “Good morning Iwa-chan. I’m glad to see you’re better today.”

Iwaizumi simply scoffed, talking was still a pain in the ass, but at least his thoughts weren’t as jumbled. His eyes made their way to the window, it was a nice day out. 

Oikawa simply stared at the man from a chair in the corner of the room. He watched as the sick man closed his eyes, bathing in the sunlight that streamed in from the window. He watched as his best friend seemed to soak up the heat and bask in it. And for a split second, he watched as the old Iwaizumi came back.

With a blink of the eye he was gone, but Oikawa could never forget… the strong man he fell in love with. 

“What are you, a plant?” Teased the man from his chair, crossing his legs.

There was no response, but Oikawa was used to it at this point. 

He made his way over to the bed, blocking the sun from hitting his friend. 

Iwaizumi slowly opened his eyes and gave a weak glare, “Move.”

As carefully as possible Oikawa made his way into the bed. He laid next to his friend, placing his head on his chest. Taking a deep breath he caught whiff of the terrible smell of the hospital he had grown accustomed to. But along with that, he also caught the comforting scent of the person he spent his entire life with. 

The smell of the man who supported him no matter how shitty he was. The man who spent his time eating at ramen shops with him. The man who he entrusted winning spikes to. The man who caught cicadas in the summer. The man who he was madly in love with.

Somewhere along the way Oikawa had fallen asleep. Iwaizumi had lied down next to him, holding the other man within his embrace. 

_‘I want to hit one more of your sets.’_

His arms tightened around Oikawa.

_‘I want to stand by your side a little longer.’_

He buried his head into Oikawa’s hair.

_‘I want to tell you how I feel.’_

His eyes began to water.

_‘I want to play one more match.’_

Tears rolled down his face.

_‘I want to see you shining on court again.’_

He began to sob, his body trembling.

_‘I don’t want to let you go...’_

Oikawa awoke to the feeling of Iwaizumi trembling and looked him in his green eyes.

_‘But I have to.’_

Iwaizumi stared back into his best friends’ eyes.

He bent his neck and placed a soft kiss on Oikawa’s forehead, “With this… I set you free.”

Oikawa’s eyes widened when he felt an all too familiar place on his arm begin to tingle. He quickly tugged Iwaizumi closer, sobs racking his body.

“No, you can't do this to me,” he trembled, “Just one more.”

Iwaizumi gave him a weak smile.

_‘Dumbass, this is where you tell me you love me.’_

Then he closed his eyes, and dreamt of the brown haired setter boy. 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa hugged the limp man even closer to his body hoping to inhale his scent, “you can’t do this to me. Not now.”

“I still haven’t brought you that planetarium,” Oikawa choked out, “and you still need to take me to the ramen shop. And for Christmas you’re supposed to be my reindeer. And for New Year who else am I supposed to ask for money? ”

The man could do nothing but curl into his best friend’s neck as his body trembled.

“It’s not fair,” he yelled, “I still haven’t given you your answer, so…” Oikawa’s voice weakened into a whisper, “So, come back and hear what I have to say.”

Oikawa continued to cry into Iwaizumi’s body, hoping to be with him for a little longer.

The sun being the only witness to their final exchange of words. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Oikawa stared up at the cloudless sky above him. His whole body tingled and felt numb. He closed his eyes and basked in the heat of the sun. Just like he had seen his friend do, a matching silver ring in his hand.

He could feel the heat expand across his cold body. But despite that, there was still a chill within him that he couldn’t shake. 

The way back to his house was quiet and lonely. The sound of his own footsteps without any to follow made him uncomfortable. 

Days went by and Oikawa watched them pass by in a daze. Some part of him still hoped, wished, for his phone to light up with a notification from his best friend. Or maybe the doorbell will ring and Iwaizumi will greet him with his iconic small smile and slight wave.

His phone rang and the Oikawa looked at the caller ID expectantly. 

“Hey, Makki,” he cringed at his hoarse voice.

“Hey, Oikawa… are you ok? Issei and I are worried about you.”

Oikawa couldn’t help but feel an ounce of jealousy in his heart at the two. Why did they get to be together? Why were they allowed to love each other?

“I’m fine, I just need some time alone,” he clenched his phone.

“Do,” the man on the other line hesitated, “do you plan on going to the funeral?”

Oikawa clenched his jaw, he _really_ didn’t want to talk about the funeral, “I don’t know we’ll see.”

“If you want we can come ov-”

“I’m fine, thanks. See you guys another time,” he hung up without hearing their reply and tossed the phone onto his bed.

He stared at his empty forearm. He bore holes into the spot he resented all of his life. He could feel himself tearing up again. 

“If I had known they were your words,” he gripped his left forearm tightly, “I would’ve treasured them more.”

“I wish I hadn’t made you wait. I wish I had the chance to pay you back. I wish you would hit me one more time. I wish you would say my name again,” tears fell and hit his bedroom floor, “I wish you were here with me.”

Oikawa curled into his bed and cried into his pillow, soon falling into a deep sleep. A sleep that he hoped would lead him back to Iwaizumi’s side.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

It was the day of the funeral, and Oikawa already knew from the start he wouldn’t be going. He was too angry to do that, and having to deal with the stares of pity would just make him angrier.

Not to mention the fact that people would no doubt tell him bullshit words like, “He’s in a better place now,” or “He wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”

“As if they’d know what he’d want… they didn’t spend their lives with him,” Oikawa scoffed out loud.

He sunk into his living room couch even more, wearing nothing but his pajamas. He closed his eyes trying to drown out his thoughts. The sound of his doorbell ringing yanked him out of his trance and he angrily opened the door. 

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you, I’m not go-” he stopped when saw a familiar nurse in front of him.

She held a sheepish look and was holding an envelope, “I see you’re wearing his ring.”

Oikawa quickly covered his right hand and disposed of his usual bubbly appearance, “What do you want?”

She seemed unfazed by his demeanor and simply looked at him with a sad smile offering him the letter, “I was told to give this to you.”

“By who?”

“I guess that’s for you to find out, isn’t it?”

Oikawa looked at her skeptically, “How’d you know I’d be here?”

She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “I didn’t… but he did.” The nurse then turned around and gave him a slight wave, “Take care of yourself.”

The man watched as she left, suddenly feeling bad for never asking for her name.

He closed the door after a few seconds and looked down at the letter in his hand. His heart swelled at the words on the front, “ _To Shitty-kawa._ ”

Oikawa quickly made his way to his room, ripping open the envelope without a second thought about delicacy. His hands paused before unfolding the papers inside. Taking a deep breath he looked at the written letters on the paper. 

_I would just like you to know that you’re an asshole._

Oikawa chuckled slightly at the insult. Although the handwriting was messier than usual, he could still recognize it in a heartbeat. 

_You’re an asshole that can’t control his temper at the worst times, and you’re absolutely obsessed with volleyball. You’re also an asshole that leaves your friend waiting in a hospital bed for two weeks. So, like the pain in the ass you are, it looks like I’m going to have to beat some sense into you later. Not only are you an asshole, but you’re also a dumbass… so I bet you didn’t even realize it’s almost your birthday._

Quickly darting to the calendar on his desk, Oikawa looked at the date, it was July 17th, three days before his birthday. His heart dropped… it had also been a week since Iwaizumi’s death. He sat back down on his bed and continued reading. 

_If I’m being honest, I have a feeling that I won’t be able to celebrate with you this year. Even now I’m getting help in writing this shit letter… but you’re worth it. That day when you introduced me to volleyball, I saw your entire future, and it was beautiful. I really wanted to be there with you the entire way, but it seems it’s not possible anymore._

_So for my last request, I ask that you continue on that path. You’re the absolute best setter, and everyone deserves to know that. Being able to have played on the same team as you was an honor, and being able to have spent my entire life with you was an even greater one. There are so many things I wanted to do with you, but I have never regretted the things I have done. The one thing I regret was not being able to tell you this in person…_

_Oikawa, you are the best and worst thing to have ever happened to me. You are my best friend, rival, and love of my life all at the same time. So thank you for being with me, and for letting me be by your side until the end. You are my everything, and you always will be._

_I love you asshole,_

_Iwaizumi_

Oikawa gripped the letter in his hands letting his tears fall freely. He folded the lefter back up neatly and placed it in the envelope before stopping. He placed his fingers inside the pocket and pulled out a ticket with a note attached to it. 

_My last birthday gift to you from me, go look at enough stars for the both of us._

He took the ticket and examined it. It was a ticket to the planetarium dated to be used on his birthday. 

The man chuckled between his tears, “He knows me so well.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Summer turned to fall, and Oikawa slowly built himself back up again. He visited the planetarium and made sure to embrace it enough for both him and Iwaizumi. Afterwards, he slowly started practicing volleyball once more. He also made sure to train properly so he wouldn’t fall behind once he returned to Brazil after his long hiatus. He even had a plane ticket booked and ready to go. There was just one thing left to do before he went back. 

“Hey Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said as he neared the grave. In his hand he held a bouquet of sunflowers. He sat down infront of the grave and brushed off the stone, noting the engravings. 

_“Strong, loyal, and passionate.”_

Three simple words, but perfect for the man Oikawa fell so deeply in love with. 

“I’m going back to Brazil tomorrow, but I was scared you’d get lonely,” he gave the stone a smile and placed a kiss on top. 

“Remember that day you hit me with a volleyball at the hospital? The light had sit you at the perfect angle and you looked like an angel. I wish I was able to tell you this sooner, but Iwaizumi Hajime… I am in love with you. From the bottom of my heart. And thank you, for being there with me through thick and thin. I hope you continue watching me from wherever you are.” 

Oikawa stayed in front of the grave for a few more minutes in silence. 

He felt a warm breeze embrace him, heard the faint sound of cicadas, and smelled the faint scent of summer. Without another word, he opened his eyes, placed another kiss onto the headstone, and continued on into autumn. 

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“Hey Kageyama-kun, why is there always an empty seat in the Great King’s front row section?”

“You idiot, how am I supposed to know?” Kageyama snarled at Hinata.

The orange haired man jumped and chuckled nervously, “Well, you two know each other so I assumed-”

“Is there really always an empty seat in his reserved section?” Atsumu chimed in, curious at the mention of their opponent's setter. 

The Japan team was scheduled to play against Argentina for their next game. So they all opted to watch videos to study up. 

Hinata nodded enthusiastically, pointing at the spot in the video, “In every video, there’s an empty seat, and it’s a front row one too.”

A tall olive green haired man happened to walk by and caught ear of their conversation.

He glanced at where the orange haired man was pointing, before smiling slightly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, can’t you see there’s someone sitting there.”

Without another word he walked off as the rest of his team gaped at him curiously. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for taking the time to read this story. I hope you cried, or at least felt a little sad (either way, I know I personally can no longer look at Iwaizumi and Oikawa the same way). Also, note all the canon content I put in. I never realized how hard it was to write a sick person, so that was probably the hardest part. The ending felt a bit rushed, but it's my first time writing a story this long (man I wish essay writing was this easy). Overall, I liked how this came out, and I hope all of you did too <3


End file.
